Confused? I must admit, even I'm!!!
Coming to the reason for writing this blog, I've decided to script my experiences and lessons learnt during my trip to Ankleshwar, a small industrial town in Gujarat. For those who don't know, Ankleshwar is the manufacturing hub of a portfolio of Petro, Chemical and Pharma companies. The major companies which have their plants there are Daxesh Petrochem, Cadila Pharma, Hoechst Pharma and the one and only Asian Paints Ltd (both Phthalic and Paints mfg.). One of the Navratnas, ONGC also has an office at Ankleshwar.
This small town is located about 12 Km from Bharuch, 180 Km from Ahmedabad and 80 Km from Baroda and is quite hot during early summers (experienced the heat!!!).
How the trip started
I'd planned my trip to Ankleshwar well in advance. Since there's no direct flight connectivity from Bangalore to Baroda, I had to take a flight to Ahmedabad and from there a train (Gujarat Queen) to Ankleshwar. The trip had officially started on a fateful Sunday morning, 22/03/2009. Since my flight was at 10:00 AM, I'd to really rush to the airport. I was expecting a meagre crowd at BIA, as it was a Sunday and I thought I was the only unlucky soul in Bangalore to be travelling on a Sunday morning. But certainly to my shock, the BIA was jam-packed with passengers. I had to really go through a long long queue for my check-in and security check. I somehow managed to make it on-time for boarding (boarded during the last call just couple of minutes before gate closure. Trust me, it's breath-taking and quite thrilling).
Lesson No. 1:
Experiences on board: Never take a budget airline to Gujarat sectors, You'll get lost
Although the air hostess at the entrance wished me a good morning, I was not awake enough to reciprocate the same. The first step into the fuselage woke me up completely. There was a loud loud cacophony in the area that I'd to cut the call on my mobile saying "Mom!!! Please gimme a minute. I landed up in a confusion. Will call you once I find my seat" and reply from my mom was "Phani, are you boarding a flight or a bus? What is the crassed cacophony around?" Then I got a basic doubt. Am I really in an aircraft or a BMTC bus! I looked around only to see the false smiles on the cosmetically and forcefully beautified faces of the air hostesses and realized that it was an aircraft. The large Gujarathi families traveling together shouting to each other from one end to the other was the reason for the cacophony (Unfortunately, Boeing 737 or Airbus A320 cannot accomodate a Gujarathi family in a single row of seats).
Adding to this misery, I was given a centre seat, where I'd to sandwich myself between two plump... sorry awkwardly obese ghee-and-sugar-fed Gujjus. As the announcement of take-off was given, to my shock, everyone around was on their mobile phones, not listening to the safety instructions. The air-hostess had to go from seat-to-seat literally begging everyone to switch-off mobile phones. One Gujju bhai sab sitting beside me gave a reason for not switching off his mobile "Arey bhai saab, main ek transporter hoon. Mujhe toh har 10 minute mein ek call ata rehta hain. Agar bandh kar diya aur beech raste mein call miss ho gaya toh hazaron rupai ka nuksaan ho jayegaa". Unfortunately, I'm not an electronic engineer to explain him about the mobile signal frequencies and the scope of their reach, etc. So, I just told him to keep his mobile on flight mode and that he would get the calls even when it is on flight mode, for which he painfully obliged. As the flight took off, I could hear some noise of plastic bags unfolding. I take my eyes off the book (I was reading 'Stay Hungry Stay Foolish' by Rashmi Bansal) and see that Bhai Saab has got a pack of idly and dosa. He was cursing the airport security for forcing him to discard the water bottle he was carrying.
The overall 2 hour flight was quite interesting and first-of-it's-kind and I silently thanked the pilot for landing 10 minutes before schedule. Donno, that 10 minutes would have turned me mad!!!
Leson No. 2:
Auto Savari in Ahmedabad: Praise H H Narendra Modi for a cheaper auto ride in Ahmedabad
I said "Bhaiya, Vastrapura lake tak ayenge?". "300 lega boss" replied the Auto driver (Henceforth refered to as AD). I: "200". AD "250... yeh phinal hain".
I somehow felt, this guy is interesting and a rickshaw ride with him for Rs. 250 is worth it. As we set off from the Sarda Vallabh Bhai Patel airport, just to test the political orientation of AD, I asked "Kya bhaiya, aap ke shehar mein chunaav ka mahol bilkul nahin hain!!! Kya scene hain? Kaun jeetegaa?". AD replies "Saab, Gujarat mein koi aur jeet sakta hain kya? Is baar bhi hamare Modi saheb hi jeetenge". I, "Accha... toh idhar ke sabhi log Modiji ko itna respect karte hain kya?". AD, "Haan saheb. Hum Gujarathi log ek din Modi saheb ke liye jaagte hain aur vote dalte hain. Baki 5 saal din raat woh hamare liye jaagte hain". I was shocked to hear that. That's a nice statement that can be used for poll canvassing. But the statement is not at all wrong. The development that I've seen in Ahmedabad over past 3 years is phenomenal. Each time I go, I observe better roads and newer initiatives (the current one is BRTS- Bus Rapid Transit System, an elevated road especially for public and private transport buses). It looked like Mr. Modi doesn't require canvassing to win hearts of Gujarathis. He's done it by his work.
Through out the journey, AD was explaining me the developmental work done by Mr. Modi, comparison with Keshubhai Patel, comparison with is counterparts in other states, etc. On reaching the Vastrapur lake, I fished out my wallet only to find that I'm running short of a Rs. 50 note. So, I asked AD, if he'd got a change for Rs. 1000. He said with a friendly smile"Saab, jitna hain, utna dedo". I handed over a couple of hundreds to him, for which he was very happy.I said "Thanks dost". He said "Saab, mera naam Raja hain. Abhi hum dost ban gaye toh next time bhi airport se mere rickshaw mein hi aana hain." First time on that day, I found myself smiling. One respite of the hectic day was that I've got a new friend, Mr. Raja, an Auto Rickshaw Driver.
Leson No. 3:
Train Journey in Gujarat: You'll never be allowed to sit in the seat assigned to you
As Abhishek (My counterpart from Hyderabad) and I had waited on the platform number 2 of Ahmedabad railways station for almost 20-25 minutes, we heard the sound of a WDP-4 (W- Indian Broad Gauge; D- Diesel; P- Passenger; 4- 4000 HP) engine and a huge structure chugged on to the rails.
The script on the name plate on the luggage van read "Gujarat Queen Express"- Naam toh sune honge! The name of the train is so glamorous that one would definitely expect it to be beautiful, well-decorated train. But truth is known only to those souls who'd board the train. Personally to me, this train has got the most ill-maintained, worst planned an aesthetically worst seating in the AC chair car.
As Abhi and I got into the chair car, we were shocked to see that a small Gujarathi family (5 is small and anything less is tiny or yet to be planned in Gujarat) had already occupied the seats assigned to us. The worst part is that they didn't even bother to be courteous enough to request us, instead ordered us to sit in their seats... "Whatthe heck!!!!". We somehow managed to control our temper and tried finding their seats only to find that they had already been occupied by another small Gujarati family. After a confusion of around 30-45 mins, we some how found out the seats left out in the musical chairs (far away from our designated seats) and managed to rest. It was a peace just for the moment. At that moment we didn't anticipate the forthcoming dangers and lessons to be learnt.
Lesson No. 4
What's Hot and what's not!: Temperatures in Ankleshwar are the highest ones that can be captured by any thermometer
As I get ready to alight the train in the Ankleshwar station, a corner of my mind said "Dude! It's gonna be cool outside". But the first feeling as I get down is "WTF!!! Did I land up in a cupola furnace?" Anyhow, as a cab was already waiting at the railway station to ferry me to the hotel, I didn't find some time to feel the heat. But I'm quite sure, any thermometer on the earth would fail to successfully capture the Ankleshwar temperatures and manage to be in it's original shape.
Lesson No. 5
Hogging on Missi roti- Will help you research on the sanitization and drainage system at Ankleshwar
As my stay reaches successful 3rd day, my mind, which was programmed the Gujju way, wanted to take some risk and experiment on the food. With the good advice of my roomie, Abhishek, I've finally decided to try the missi roti (for those who don't know, better not know, coz even I don't know!!!) on that fateful day. As they say in Sanskrit "Yadahnat kurute papam, tadahnat pratimuchyate". Meaning wherever you commit the sin, there will you pay for it. For the first time in my life, I'd realized that experimenting with food can be a sin. A couple of hours post missi-roti-feast dinner all was well. But what followed those hours made me feel that I was in Ankleshwar to appreciate the beauty of their restrooms, as I ended up spending almost 2 days there. Everytime I came out of the restroom, I realized that I need to go in again!!!
Lesson No. 6
When u r down with illness, control ur temptation n survive on lassi or curd rice for a day n "Get Well Soon Mamu"
The 2 fateful days at Ankleshwar confined me to a glass of Lassi and a bowl of curd rice (mind you, without salt, adding which can make the things worse!!!). During a few hours sleep (on the bed n not in the bathroom) I could see only Sanju Baba appearing in my dreams n saying "Get well soon Mamu!!!!"
Lesson No. 7
An unpleasant trip tends to end in an unpleasant manner; UR FLIGHT GETS CANCELLED
After a long and horrible trip with a bunch of ugly experiences, I was literally waiting to catch the next flight n get back to a safer zone. As I opened my mouth wide open to yawn with relief on the evening of the 5th day of my trip, I get a call from the Queen of Good times (ulellallala ulleyo... roll ur tongue) " We're sorry to inform you that your flight to Bangalore has been cancelled".This was the last thing I had intended to hear at that point of fatigue. For a moment, I decoded that sentence as "Sir, we're sorry to inform you that you are destined to die in Ankleshwar".Regaining my senses made me realize that I have the choice of other airlines. I somehow managed to call my travel agent and asked him to put me on a flight to Bangalore from Mumbai (Plan was to travel to Mumbai from Ankleshwar in the morning and take the evening flight from Mumbai). At that moment, I didn't realize that something worse was waiting for me in Mumbai.
Lesson No. 8
Kismat kharab hain toh oonth pe baitha toh bhi kutta kaategaa
I don't know why, but Murphy's law has always been my favorite. It can be related to any or every context. But when it applies to you, you'll start hating it. For those who're not much aware, Murphy's law says "Anything that can go wrong will definitely go wrong". Exactly the same thing happened to me in Mumbai. As I reached Mumbai Central (BCT) railway station, I was feeling a sense of relief, which was short lived. My cousin (call him Shark- Sharat Kashyap) came to see me at the airport. Since I got down at 12:30 PM and my flight was at 6:10 PM, we'd decided to get rid of my luggage at the cloak room and go to our all time favorite, sports bar at Phoenix Mills, Lower Parel. We somehow hopped a train or two and reached the mall. We had a great time watching the crowd go by, making fun of some and making faces at some, connecting to wi-fi and flauting Shark's new laptop, etc. All the while I was quite skeptical about the longevity of my happiness. At almost 3:30 PM, we reached the BCT to collect my luggage and proceed to airport. To my shock, I noticed that the receipt of the cloak room is missing from my pocket!!!!
Things which were going bad all of a sudden turned worse and it seemed as if the worst was yet to come. I checked entire surrounding (till Phoenix mills again!!!) for that slip. I tried getting my luggage by using the common choke for starting the sarkari work, a note. But to my amazement, the people in the cloak room were not at all inclined to the moolah!!! It was 4:00 PM and I'm supposed to check-in at 30+ KM distant airport at 5:00 PM. I was aghast when I was asked to get a FIR for the lost receipt. The last thing that I expected to happen at that hour is to walk into a police station. When I waked to the writer and asked him to receive a complaint about the lost receipt, I got a reply "Idhar paper aur pen ka complaints nahin likhte". I had to sacrifice 100 bucks to get the pandu to write the FIR. When I walked into the cloak room with the FIR, I was asked to give declaration and affix a Re. 1 revenue stamp on the same. It being a Sunday and with all the shops and post offices closed, I had to run frantically on the roads begging for a revenue stamp. It was 4:25 PM and I was on the road trying to find a revenue stamp. It went on till 4:40. At last I lost all the hopes of finding a stamp and walked into the cloak room empty handed. But as they say "All that's not well ends well". I had at last found a good soul in the cloak room who was kind enough to accept my gift of Rs. 200/- and release my bag.
The very next moment I jumped into a local taxi which vroomed to the airport within 35 minutes.
As I reached home after a long week and a hectic day, laying on the bed with my hands in the pocket, I realized that the cloak room receipt was in the inner pocket of my jeans(I then recollected that hid it there to be extra careful and not lose it!!!).
All I could do at the moment was to thank Murphy with a sheepish smile for making me understand his laws.
good narrative........my favorite line 'common choke for starting the sarkari work, a note'.....nice one.
ReplyDeletelooking forward for more
aparna